We’re Still Standing

Fear is excitement without the breath. The breath is coming but it is not quite here yet. Take heart.


Last weeks developments are some of our worst fears made actual. We the unvaccinated (and those of us vaccine injured) are used to being derided and pilloried in the mainstream media. Jeremy on 7 Sharp actually wore a tinfoil hat on screen, and Hilary seems to delight in casting us as the undesirables. Lies and statistics are presented daily, all with the underlying message, you are outside the new normal. This week we realise that the government has trained everyone to accept the no jab no job mandates through such means. We are told we will rend the fabric of society asunder with our nasty viral load. We are now fully othered, cast as unclean, stupid, or, as a family member put it, an example of natural selection in action.


We have slowly and carefully been dehumanised. Thus it is easy for our fellow NZers not to care about us. Some of them openly state they wish we would die of Covid, as did a professional who works in mental health, on her facebook feed this week. Its likely that she would not be like this normally. People say horrible things just now. It is the result of the government and media onslaught. Lets lay that at Jacinda’s feet.


Since the mandates, our friends tackle us yet again: its safe they say, surely you will get it now, its not worth losing your job over? Others shrug and let colleagues they have worked shoulder to shoulder with for decades walk out the door as if there is nothing abnormal in this situation. Is this what we get for straying from the centre of the herd, we wonder? No-one appears to care. No-one stands for us. Even the opposition are opposed to us.


Such callousness depresses us. It removes us from our dream of an ordered world in which people are basically good. Things are dark. Unjabbed cancer patients are already refused treatment at the local hospital. Soon we will be seen in the carpark if we attend the GP. We may be followed through the supermarket by security guards. Or perhaps we will no longer be allowed to go to the supermarket at all? We wonder if eventually we will be incarcerated. The Covid Bill being rushed through now allows it. It may be that guarding our body’s sovereignty is just the beginning of this. They are forcing us out of work and this is shocking. We are all in shock. We think about secession and buying land on the West Coast.


Some of us report vaccine injury and are gaslighted into believing our frightening symptoms are just anxiety. The doctor looks away, he cannot empathise with us, it would cost him too much. Others see friends and clients become ill from it, shocked that their suspicion of vaccine injury has suddenly become up close and personal. Some see that all the double jabbed around us appear to be absolutely fine, but we check the new numbers on CARM. We read another post, another overseas study. We still don’t want it, thanks.


We continually doubt ourselves. We cannot seek the comfort of connecting with our vaccinated friends and family. It is the only thing on our minds but it cannot be discussed. We wonder if we are mad. We fear for our families, our finances, our children, our future. We see the present and immediate danger to democracy but cannot fully believe it is happening. No one else seems to notice. The media are silent.


Meanwhile the campaign to discredit us, the unvaccinated, is as noisy as ever, despite the truth emerging in other countries. Despite the injuries, despite the deaths. Someone collapsed at the pharmacy in Golden Bay yesterday and was wheeled away into an ambulance. We have the photographs. This is news we say, did they live or die? We don’t know. The media will not report on such events. A vaccine that can do this to a person is not a vaccine we say. Nobody listens. The vaccinated can transmit just as much viral material as the unvaccinated we say, it has been proven. Nobody cares. You lose your job anyway. A soon to be unemployed maths teacher, who looks like Einstein, puts himself up for sale on Trademe. Our hearts bleed for him. He is worth 214 dollars. He is kind and funny in the comments. I wish he taught my boy, who struggled with maths. I want him to be ok. 


Last night I lay in bed with the rain coming down and listened to ordinary NZers like me give their 5 minute oral presentations on the Covid Response Bill to the Health Select Committee. The full 8 hours of zoom meetings for submissions on this bill are posted on the committees Facebook site. I did not know this was a thing and I am amazed. I am so proud of all of the presenters. I drift off to sleep with their voices in the room. I could not turn them off. They are turned off enough.


Each individual speaker was a revelation. So brave, so clear, and so deeply troubled by this bill. They see a catastrophe coming, they want it to stop right now. The panel looks bored. As time goes on they become resigned, slumped in their chairs – almost every single presentation is vehemently against the bill. They are asked if they have questions and they rarely do. They look down a lot.


Each person who presents is well informed. They have prepared their words. Some talk Covid statistics. The 99.8 percent recovery rate. They point to Israel, Singapore, and the Scandinavian countries. Others talk of freedom. They point to our Bill of rights, which is based on the Nuremberg Code. One says that the Bill of Rights is foundational Labour policy, bought into law by Geoffrey Palmer. If Labour will not defend it, then who will he asks? He is a Labour supporter, he is confused. He cannot believe this is happening under our very noses, the same noses, apparently, that carry a deadly viral load. A young GP from Methven, about to lose her job, tells the panel why the vaccine cannot sterilise people from passing on infections. She explains that something injected internally cannot vaccinate the epithelial cells in our airways and respiratory system, those that are our first defence. This makes mandates and vaccine passports a complete nonsense, and in turn makes the powers the bill wants to bring into law completely unnecessary. She is so eloquent. Her patients will miss her.


Another man explains that the wording of this bill would allow a government official to order a person to undergo a prostate exam in the middle of a shopping mall, if they so desired, and it would be perfectly legal. He makes his point. The panel look up at this. They do not deny it. Many presenters object to the wording of the bill “to detain any specified person or groups of persons in any specified place”. Others quote statistics on the health effects of lockdowns, suicides, untreated illness, and lost businesses. One young woman states that the bill gives people who contract Covid a special status: they must be protected at any cost to society, while people who become ill with other diseases are given no such protection, even though the death rates from these diseases are higher. A man appeals directly to the panel, as human beings, he asks them to look into their hearts and see if this bill is something they want to visit upon the NZ populace for the next 17 months. Businessmen and women speak with compassion about how they will not mandate their workers. These people are all heroes. They have all stood up. You are not alone in this.


This morning I woke to see a post on the Kiwis United FB page – a video of 2 Newshub journalists being confronted yesterday at a one of the Freedom picnics. The tables were turned. They tried to argue with the young woman behind the camera.  Vaccination protects others, they said. She fact checked them. They said they were just doing their job. She said, that’s not good enough anymore. She asked them to stop their lies and propaganda. She said they had blood on their hands. She was relentless. They were so desperate to escape her that they fled through the crowd to the police, who did nothing because she was not breaking the law. She kept her 2 metre distance. The ANZAC spirit resides within her, I thought. And within all of us.


When we connect, when we see that others think in the same way, our very cells respond with a serotonin uptick. Anxiety is reduced. Anger, an emotion that is experienced as stressful if it is repressed with anxiety, is a source of strength when allowed to course through the body as it should. Anger is just power, it makes us strong. It gives us internal structure. It can inform our minds of what we need to do next in order to stay sane as this thing unfolds. So let it move through you, let it empower you. You will find you are aware of yourself as sovereign, incorruptible. I think many people are quietly waking to full consciousness of their own spiritual dimensions at this time.


Trust your own perception. Everyone is in a collective psychosis and you are sane. Scrolling and finding support on FB and other sites is helpful, but can also be a way of staying in the freeze response and then not taking action for yourself. There will be things to you can do each day to make yourself safer, to connect, to advance your own dreams. These must be done one at a time, even when you don’t feel like it. Behavioural activation is a way to move forward, you do the thing that is needed, then the strength comes, not vice versa.


There are many strands to our bow. Many things are beginning to take shape. But we do not know yet that it will be alright, that sanity will prevail. This is the dark bit, the tunnel. What we do know is that we are facing into a system that uses psychological warfare to comprehensively oppress dissent. So we must organise ourselves organically into our own systems of support and care. We don’t need leaders. We are all leaders, we all have a contribution to make. All are welcome.


And inside of yourself, you also are not alone. There is soul and spirit there, unique to you, a rising energy that is ready to take you forward into this battle. Love is this, love is real, and it is here now. We’ve got this. As Maya Angelou said, Every storm runs out of rain.